Control

Aaron and I have talked a lot about the control that people try to have over their children. Kids who have every move and choice they make overseen, eventually rebel. They are a lot more deceptive and sneak around to do the things they know they are not allowed to do, even at a very young age. I'm not saying that I want to have no control over my children, but I think there is a point where you never bend and let them be children. The point of being a child is to learn and play, not to be little adults!

The control thing goes for adults, too. How many of us have dieted only to binge and end up fatter than we were before? Only to do it again when the next diet comes along...

Money can be the same way. I was reading a recent post of Lara's and it got me thinking about this. If you budget yourself into complete control over your money, you may end up splurging and spending way more than you intended to.

We try to avoid these problems at my house by fitting in small amounts of food and money that we really don't have to explain. At the grocery store, we each get a treat that is up to each of us alone to choose. The idea is that we get to eat it alone, but we usually end up sharing. It really helps. We know that we can get a treat that we don't have to prove is worth getting. It is just something that we wanted. We then don't constantly have the house full of sugary, salty and greasy treats. When it comes to our budget, we get mad money that is up to each of us to spend however we want. It really does help. We don't get so many urges to spend random money.

Side note: I have learned that the real way for me not to over spend each month is to change my mindset. If I think we have plenty of money and I can get random extra things as I am shopping, then I spend A LOT more money than if I think of it differently. If I realize (or convince myself) that there isn't a ton of money to be spent (which there isn't) then I don't spend as much.

Bottom line: Our minds are very powerful! If you feel trapped and controlled, at some point, you will rebel and splurge. I think the goal is to have a balance of control. This is really what discipline is all about. We have to learn to control ourselves in a way that works for us. And, back to kids, if we control their every move and choice, then they can't learn to be disciplined.

Okay, so now I am going to get off of my soap box and have a fun day with my kids!!